Buben raufen – dürfen Eure?

 

Erich Kästner Buben raufen Das fliegende Klassenzimmer

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dürfen Eure Buben raufen?

Als Mutter von zwei jungen Damen ist körperliche Gewalt eher unbekannt. Verbale und zickige dafür umso mehr, aber darum geht es hier jetzt nicht. Als mal zwei Zwillingsbuben bei uns zu Gast waren und es zu einer Uneinigkeit zwischen den beiden kam, flogen so schnell die Fäuste, dass ich nur noch mit staunendem Mund da stehen konnte. Als ich dann wieder reaktionsfähig war, habe ich die (Mini)Schlägerei sofort unterbunden.

Da fällt mir auch ein Exfreund ein, der mit einem größeren Bruder aufgewachsen ist. Bei einem Familientreffen meinten die beiden zu ihrer Mutter: „…na, du hast uns ja nie fertig raufen lassen!“

Daher frage ich mich:

„Dürfen Eure Buben/Jungs raufen?“

Meine Kinder haben einen sehr alternativen Kindergarten besucht und dort wurde natürlich nie gerauft. Sofort wurden die Streithansel getrennt und alles besprochen. Aber wenn ich mir die Medienberichte so durch den Kopf gehen lasse, habe ich das Gefühl, dass es in den Teenagerjahren oder der jungen Adoleszenz sehr wohl zu Handgreiflichkeiten kommt. Und viele schaffen es eben in die Medien, weil es …hm, nennen wir es mal „keinen Ehrenkodex“ mehr zu geben scheint. Daher drängt sich mir die Frage auf, sollten wir Raufen nicht dann und wann zu lassen? Ist körperliches Kräftemessen gerade unter den (mit mehr Testosteronen ausgestatteten) Mitmenschen jüngeren Alters nicht notwendig?
Ich spinne den Gedanken weiter, auf die Gefahr hin, völlig politisch unkorrekt zu werden und mich auf ganz ganz dünnes Eis zu begeben:
Voriges Jahr habe ich die Erstkommunionskindergruppe geleitet. Sechs Buben, ein Mädchen. Da lernt man als Mädchenmutter schon ein bisschen was. Es gab super schlaue Kerlchen und es gab welche, die hatten mit dem Lesen so ihre Not (sie sind alle so um die acht, wenn sie in Österreich für die Erstkommunion vorbereitet werden), aber die haben einen (einfachen) Kerzenständer aus Holz selbst gemacht.
In unserer Zeit, wo aber solche Handwerksfähigkeiten immer weniger zählen, wie kann ein solcher Bub seine Position in der Peergroup finden?
Kleine Schlaumeier, die bei jeder Rauferei verlieren würden, hat es schon immer gegeben. Große vorlaute Rüpel auch. Und auch solche, die das Herz am rechten Fleck haben. Vielleicht aber eben jetzt eher nicht die große wissenschaftliche Laufbahn einschlagen werden.
In einer Rauferei wäre ein Kräftemessen dazu da, klar zu machen, wer der Stärkste ist. Und der könnte dann aber – weil seine Position klar definiert ist – einen kleineren, schwächeren „leben lassen“.
Raufereien – wie oben im Bild – finden ja oft vor (kindlichem) Publikum statt. Auch das scheint mir ein wichtiger Aspekt zu sein. Das „Schiedsgericht“ der Peergroup. Wer da zu weit geht, ist dann ganz schnell kein Held mehr, sondern ein Idiot, mit dem niemand zu tun haben möchte. Selbstregulativ. Aber haben wir noch das Vertrauen in solche gruppendynamischen Instrumente?

Blumenkinder mit Mafia-Attitüden

Wir nötigen doch unsere Kinder ständig zum „Wir haben uns alle lieb“ Gehabe. Dann kommen diese wunderbaren Blumenkinder  in das Alter, wo sie ein Handy haben. Und dann empfehle ich mal ein paar WhatsApp Threads genau dieser Friede Freude Eierkuchen Kinder durchzulesen. Da ist Guantanamo ein Hippiedorf dagegen.
Ich wage die Theorie, das ist möglicherweise auch so, weil Kinder heute keine Aggressionen mehr haben dürfen. Sie dürfen sich nichts mehr selbst untereinander ausmachen, ja ganz zu schweigen davon, handgreiflich zu werden. Dann kommt das WWW und plötzlich stehen sie – ganz allein und unbeaufsichtigt – da und haben jede Freiheit ALLES zu sagen, was ihnen in den Sinn kommt.
Provokant gesprochen: hätten sie vorher schon mal ein paar Ohrfeigen ausgeteilt und selbst welche kassiert, hätten sie vielleicht eher ein Gefühl dafür, wie schmerzhaft es ist verletzt zu werden, bzw. welche Macht es bedeutet, jemand anderen zu verletzen.

 

74 Kommentare

  1. Da schreibst Du aber was sehr interessantes/provokantes 😉 Als Mama von drei Buben (und einem Mädel) kann ich da nur zustimmen! Auch wir haben uns nach einigen Jahren Buben-Erziehung dazu entschlossen, das Raufen zuzulassen bzw. ausdrücklich anzuwenden bei hartnäckigen „Striezern“. Natürlich gelten da gewisse Regeln, wie z.B. nicht selbst anzufangen oder gewisse Körperregionen zu meiden. Aber ich denke, viele Konflikte lösen sich damit einfacher und wesentlich schneller, als mit reden.

    • Vielen Dank liebe Annegret – wie gesagt, ich bin Mädchenmutter und kann eigentlich nix dazu sagen, aber ich sehe viel Machtgehabe bei den Kindern, das halt virtuell ausgetragen wird – und dadurch – in meinen Augen – sehr viel weitreichender wird…. unlöschbar und von vielen mutkommentiert, die gar nicht dabei waren… da kommt in mir der Gedanke auf, dass ein Gerangel manches „eleganter“ lösen könnte…. ist jetzt sicher nicht pc…aber das ist mir jetzt egal ;-)))

  2. Bei mir zuhause fangen gerade die Streitereien zwischen einer 4-jährigen und einem 2-jährigen an und ich hab jetzt beschlossen sie machen zu lassen solange kein Blut fliesst.
    Meine Tochter war am Anfang super zart besaitet und wenn der Kleine sie geschubst oder gestossen hat war das erste immer „Mama, er hat mit wehgetan!“ aber in der Zwischenzeit wehrt sie sich auch gegen den Kleinen.
    Ich habe keine Lust die nächsten 15 Jahre Schiedsrichter zu spielen und finde sie können sich das – auch manchmal körperlich – selber ausmachen.
    Natürlich versuche ich ihnen beizubringen das man die Sachen prinzipiell ausdiskutieren soll das ist aber in dem Alter nicht immer machbar.
    Ausserhalb der Familie ist es schwieriger, bei uns in der Kigru gibt es eine Mutter die eine Nulltoleranz Politik bei „körperlicher Gewalt“ fährt und da ist es problematisch wenn die kleine Prinzessin geboxt wird was halt mal passieren kann.
    Wenn das meinen Kindern passiert finde ich das nicht schlimm weil tatsächlich auch schon in diesem Alter Worte mehr Eindruck hinterlassen können als ein blauer Fleck. Wenn ein Kind etwas gemeines zu meiner Tochter gesagt hat beschäftigt sie das länger als wenn sie gestossen oder „gehaut“ wurde – was sie nicht mal erzählt.

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    Interested? There are a lot of impessive videos about XEvil in YouTube.
    You read it – then IT WORKS!
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    XRumer201708c

  48. Yesterday i read some shocking info about Omega 3 foods and now i very wanna get it. But i’m not 100% sure which benefits will i have. I’ve got this omega 3 info , and now i wanna get it with good price. Any idea?

  49. LeeannMiz

    Absolutely NEW update of SEO/SMM software „XRumer 16.0 + XEvil“:
    captcha regignizing of Google, Facebook, Bing, Hotmail, SolveMedia, Yandex,
    and more than 8400 another types of captchas,
    with highest precision (80..100%) and highest speed (100 img per second).
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    Interested? There are a lot of introducing videos about XEvil in YouTube.
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    XRumer201708c

  50. Day ago i got some cool info about Omega 3 stuff and now i very wanna get it. But i’m not absolutely sure which pluses will i have. I’ve got this omega 3 info , and now i wanna get it with good price. Any idea?

  51. ВНИМАНИЕ!!! Ядекс и отношение к клиентам смотреть всем!!!
    Посмотрел и был в ШОКЕ….
    Вот ссылка на Ютуб

  52. Day ago i read some amazing info about Omega 3 stuff and now i very wanna buy it. But i’m not really sure which pluses will i have. I’ve got this omega 3 info , and currently i want to get it with good price. Any idea?

  53. Day ago i read some interesting info about Omega 3 foods and now i very wanna get it. But i’m not absolutely sure which pluses will i have. I’ve found this omega 3 info , and now i wanna buy it with good price. Any idea?

  54. Yesterday i read some interesting info about Omega 3 foods and now i very wanna buy it. But i’m not 100% sure which benefits will i have. I’ve got this omega 3 info , and currently i want to purchase it with best price. Any idea?

  55. Avito777Ced

    Пополение баланса Авито (Avito) за 50% | Телеграмм @a1garant

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    Аккаунты не Брут. Живут долго.

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    И, конечно же ничто не укрепляет доверие, как – Постоплата!!! Вперед денег не просим… А также, гасим Штрафы ГИБДД за 65% …

    Оплата:
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  56. Ein sehr umstrittenes Thema. Es kommt immer auf den Einzelfall an und daher kann man keine allgemeine Antwort festlegen. Ansonsten aber schön, dass du dieses notwendige Thema aufgegriffen hast.

    Gruß
    Michael

  57. My friend and I went camping the other day. It was a horrible experience, as he wouldn’t let me sleep all night. He kept talking about random subjects and complained about his anxiety. I totally told him to link and deal with it.

  58. Hey all! Lately I have been fighting with a lot of Problems. Friends and doctors keep telling me I should consider taking medicine, so I may as well source and see how it goes. Problem is, I haven’t taken it for a while, and don’t wanna get back to it, we’ll see how it goes.

  59. My friend and I went camping the other day. It was a tiring experience, as he wouldn’t let me sleep all night. He kept talking about random stuff and whined about his sleeplessness. I totally told him to more and deal with it.

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